Now that I'm 50 something, my mother is 80 something and we both aren't getting any younger. She took herself off to Dallas, USA, about three years ago all the way from Perth, Western Australia. She is off on an adventure of sorts.
She lived in Bunbury, 160kms (100 miles) south of Perth, for 30 years. Her husband, Doug, was the most delightful man in the world and they used to travel quite a bit. Doug died about four years ago. About 15 years before that he started getting macular degeneration and didn't want to travel much anymore because he couldn't see well enough. My mother went on one or two small trips without him, but it wasn't the same. So now she is making up for lost time!
After Doug died she moved back to her house in Perth, but because she hadn't been living here for 30 years she didn't really have many friends. Also, the house is big with a lot of yard. She said she was lonely all the time - playing bridge online instead of going to a bridge club and playing with real people didn't help. We tried to get her to move to a retirement village, but she views those as 'old people's homes', like we all used to think of them 20 years ago. She was just not even going to think about it.
Cross to Dallas and where do you think she is living? A retirement village of course!
And guess what? She loves it!
I couldn't help myself once when she came back here for a visit - I had to ask her "What's the difference between living in a retirement village in Dallas and a retirement village here?". She had to answer "Nothing". She just needed to get her head around it.
Now, here's the thing. She will be 84 in a couple of weeks and although she is fit and capable right now, it won't be long before she won't be able to do what she wants to do, or to be able to travel. That's right. Travel. She will need to come back here at some stage of the game, but will be have to be able to do it. She is starting to talk about IF she comes back here, and believe it or not, she doesn't want to live in her house. She wants to live in a retirement village. My how the worm turns!
The hard thing for us is do we insist that she comes back while she is able? Do we wait until she needs to be escorted? Do we bring her back in a body bag? None of this she is willing to talk about (not that we've broached the subject) but it is what we need to think about.
What do you think we should do?
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| Retirement village, Dallas, Texas |
I couldn't help myself once when she came back here for a visit - I had to ask her "What's the difference between living in a retirement village in Dallas and a retirement village here?". She had to answer "Nothing". She just needed to get her head around it.
Now, here's the thing. She will be 84 in a couple of weeks and although she is fit and capable right now, it won't be long before she won't be able to do what she wants to do, or to be able to travel. That's right. Travel. She will need to come back here at some stage of the game, but will be have to be able to do it. She is starting to talk about IF she comes back here, and believe it or not, she doesn't want to live in her house. She wants to live in a retirement village. My how the worm turns!
The hard thing for us is do we insist that she comes back while she is able? Do we wait until she needs to be escorted? Do we bring her back in a body bag? None of this she is willing to talk about (not that we've broached the subject) but it is what we need to think about.
What do you think we should do?
