Was I depressed?

Possibly. Maybe. Probably not. BUT I wasn't in a very good space.

 

You may have noticed that I haven't been around for a few weeks. The business we have been operating for the last 18 years seemed to be going nowhere and I was tired of banging my head against a brick wall. I couldn't see anyway out of it, but I reassured my business partner that I wasn't going to kill myself, because I never want to miss out on anything and I always want to see what's around the next corner. I just bumped into an old friend at the supermarket and remembered that he told me once that he had contemplated suicide and my reaction was to say just what I said above - I don't want to miss out on anything!

 

I think I was just temporarily depressed (I believe the real thing is a long lasting condition). I didn't want to do anything, didn't want to make any decisions, didn't want to go swimming training (the one thing that I LOVE to do) and didn't want to go to the gym or to go to work.

 

What I did do is MADE myself go swimming and go to the gym because of the social aspects of both and I think I read somewhere once that people who exercise don't get depressed or ill as much as other people do. It was hard work, but I did it.

 

Having just written that I have just looked up a really good website called Beyond Blue, which is the Australian National Depression Initiative. I found an article on depression  and exercise and it turns out that I did lots of the things that you are meant to do! Lucky me. I had probably absorbed the information from the TV advertising that the government does periodically.

 

It wasn't a very nice situation to be in and I don't want to experience it again. I can't imagine what the real thing would be like. Awful.